I live in fear of working on this blog; mostly because of the time it takes to transcribe my elementary school writing. My hands instinctively correct the little mistakes which are included in the original text (the first two-thirds of which can be found here and here), but I find their preservation important. My poor spelling and grammar was as much a part of my life as was my proclivity for … well, skateboarding? Apparently? More on that later. For now: Continue reading
Category Archives: The Grant Andrews Saga
Aww shit, you guys thought it would never come. That’s just how I operate, though. I don’t just lower your expectations — I eradicate them, so when I come through, you’re more than just surprised, you’re changed. I’m like your drunk, deadbeat dad who disappeared for seven years, and then oh who’s that in the back row of your piano recital? Boom.
Make sure you don’t miss the exciting first installment. You’ve really gotta follow the story sequentially, or else your just gonna get all confuzzled. Grant Andrews is a lot like Lost, if Lost were written by an impossibly stupid fourth grader. Continue reading
My recent days have been spent excavating the ancestral home as I prepare to shuffle off to Cincinnati (next Saturday, which is soon). This is of little to no relevance to you, I’m sure, except for this one small treasure I dug up whilst pilfering the ancestral computer desk.
It’s a piece of literature I crafted in third or fourth grade. Hardback, of course — this is a classy piece of literature, and it’s meant for classy people. On the cover, a crudely drawn picture of a police badge — Atlanta Georgia Police Department, to be precise. Tucked behind the badge is a gun, I think. It’s the worst drawn gun in the history of gun photos, hence my confusion. Written above this illustration, in large, colorful block lettering:
GRANT ANDREWS – KID COP. Continue reading